(Wow, can you believe the year is half over? Crazy!)
I began by marrying off all the non-heir-producing Alphabettis. Which of the four kids would remain as heir? I decided to leave that up to fate, and see how fast each couple moved forward in their relationship.
Hoisin and his sweetie went first. He proposed to her in the domed environment that is an homage to Sunset Valley.
They were married at night, as the moon illuminated the mountain range behind their house.
Hat and her boyfriend were next. She proposed to him at the Nazca Lines Park by moonlight.
Their wedding was sparsely attended, but heartfelt.
Finally I was left with Girbitz Jr. and Hart.
Hart’s girlfriend, Irene Su, is a real pain in the ass. Every time he tries a romantic interaction, it falls flat. This despite the fact that their relationship is almost at 100%. Every time he tries something, she just gives him this unnerving, blank stare.
For his part, Girbitz Jr. was having NO luck with Bella Goth. He was getting a lot of writing done, though. “Romance” is his most profitable novel type, so he cranked them out, night by night, as he sat beside Bella’s grave waiting for her ghost to appear.
He finished instant classics like “50 Shades of Girbitz” and “A Girbitz By Any Other Name,” among others.
While waiting for her boys to marry, Fern turned into an elder.
I guess this woman does not like cake.
At Fern’s party, Hart was smitten by a woman named Linda Smiley.
She was interested in him, but still wouldn’t let him lunge in for a first kiss.
Irene Su was at the party, too. She didn’t take kindly to Hart’s flirting. I think that’s what that blank stare means, anyway.
Anyway, it was time for Fern to retire. Hooray, clap clap clap, confetti, move on.
I gave her a “little old lady bouffant.” (I live in a town which is beloved by little old lady tourists, so I am familiar with the form.)
The next day I was like, eff it, I’ll just marry Hart to Linda Smiley and they can be the heirs. So I had him invite her out to a romantic location to propose, and…
She had turned into an elder in the intervening hours! Wail, gnash! (Elders can’t get pregnant.)
Oh well. In for a penny, in for a pound. He proposed to her with the misty alien landscape in the background.
I invited Irene Su to the wedding. Just for kicks. She reacted with a blank stare. SERIOUSLY LADY, MAKE A FACIAL EXPRESSION, YOU ARE CREEPING ME OUT.
They were wed in a small but touching ceremony. The groom wore clamdigger pants.
Later that night, they consummated their love… autonomously! One of the few cases of autonomous Woo Hoo I have witnessed. I guess their inter-generational love is JUST THAT POWERFUL.
That morning, I had Hart call Irene Su to chat. Tee hee!
After he hung up the phone, this happened:
I can’t tell if he’s relieved to be married to someone else, or feeling guilty.
Wait, there’s Bella! Get her!
CRAP. She was gone too quickly. Arrrgh.
The next night, Hat and her husband invited everyone over for dinner. They have moved into this clever little science fiction-y cottage.
Where they own a dog who is so tiny, he could literally fit inside his own speech bubble.
After the party, Hart and Fern mixed it up. Their relationship has been very bad – in the red – ever since Hart was a kid. He was a little punk as a kid, always skipping school and pulling pranks.
Whenever I leave them alone for a few minutes, they start bickering.
Hart took a few breaks from bickering with his mom to heckle the people inside the house.
Can you imagine you’re going about your business, and some guy just starts yelling “BOOOO!!! BOOOOO!!!” What a jerk!
And I still haven’t made any progress with Bella Goth. The End.