Sims Sunday: The Benefits of Gym Membership

Nick’s Lifetime Wish is to reach level 10 in both Athletic and Logic. He spent a lot of time at the gym as a teen.

I set out some schprinklers in Mandy’s garden. I don’t think they actually water the plants, but all the Alphabettis are inexorably drawn to play with them.

Nick met his uncle Murderface at the gym.

Nick: “My favorite color is black!”

Murderface: “…”

Robi died. The last thing he saw in this lifetime was the Alphabetti’s past-due unusually pointy Halloween cat decoration.

Niblet had a birthday, and now he looks just like Nick except chubbier. Nick is not impressed.

Lorne died while doing his favorite thing: playing a video game. (The game that used to be called SSX 3 as a promotional goodie in Sims 2, except that SSX 3 was released in 2003, and now it’s just called “video game,” but it uses the same sounds and animations.)

Afterward, Death took a load off and watched the shopping channel for a few minutes.

Nick stayed so late at the gym that he missed his curfew. The cops arrested him from outside on the sidewalk. I tried to cancel the action and convince Nick to run away, but he wouldn’t. He walked downstairs, outside, across the sidewalk, and let himself into the cruiser. Bo-ring.

By the way, I bet you didn’t know that red onions grow on climbing bush vines, like beans! (So do heads of iceberg lettuce, potatoes, garlic, and grapes.)

For Nick’s birthday, I booked the neighborhood swimming pool. Everyone had a great time!

Except that there wasn’t a single table in the place. Without anywhere to set down the birthday cake, he had to wait until he got home to age up.

Handsome devil, isn’t he? The very next day at the gym he met a lipless, eyebrow-less, black-eyed freak named Cletus Grisby.

Immediately after meeting them, Nick had a Cletus-related Wish Cascade. “Learn two more of Cletus’ traits.” “Ask about Cletus’ career.” “Have First Kiss with Cletus.”

Okay, dude, I get the message. Thank goodness men can’t have babies with each other, so I don’t have to worry about ugly babies.

Nick invited Cletus home. It was a whirlwind romance, to say the least. It took them about an hour to get from Amorous Hug…

To Propose Marriage!

Let’s just take a minute to savor Cletus’ expression. I have never – and I mean never – seen a Sim look that surprised at a marriage proposal. He looks like he’s going to burst the blood vessels in his eyes.

But you know what? He accepted.

“Pleased to meet you, ma’am. My name is Cletus. I’m marrying your son. But first we’re going to go make Woo Hoo in your bed, since it’s the only double bed in the house. Is it okay if I call you “Mom”? Okay, gotta run, catch you later!”

“I… what?”

I decided to hold the wedding at the trout farm. Nick almost botched the entire thing. He kept bathing (damn Neat trait) even though I canceled it out of his queue. By the time he finally made it to the trout farm, most of the guests had left.

Finally, the happy couple exchanged vows beside the hot dog grill.

Afterward, the grill cooked hot dogs for the lone remaining wedding guest. Even the other groom was too tired to stick around.

The next day, Niblet grew into a young adult.

“Now that I’m a grown up, I wonder if it’s my job to finally get rid of the Halloween decorations? Nah.”

Nick and Cletus adopted a baby girl the next morning.

Meet Olivia, who has no genetic material in common with Cletus, thank goodness.