Baxter and Bob Alphabetti, the second-generation twins, grew into teens and went off to college. I set them up in a tiny house which they can’t afford, even with a roommate.
Most of the time, they sit on the floor to do their college assignments. There’s no dishwasher, trash can, or kitchen sink. They clean up the dirty dishes by taking them to the trash can on the curb and throwing them away. (That was pretty much my experience of college, as well.)
Bob had a lot of college-related anxiety. He kept rolling “get an A+” and “finish sophomore year” in his wants, and “get a bad report card” in his fears. (Baxter, a grilled cheese sim, was not as concerned about his academic performance.)
I flipped a coin and named Baxter as the heir to the family line. This freed up Bob to have some fun. I had Baxter invite over his buddy, Count Isbic, and influence him to bite Bob’s neck.
Bob was a jolly vampire. He took to his new nature with hearty cheer.
“Bleh, dude!” “Whatever.”
If you are wondering what vampires eat, the answer is: spaghetti.
Bob was only a few hours away from his final exam, and he really wanted to finish his sophomore year. Since the exam would take place from 2AM-4AM, he’d be back before the sun came up at 7AM, so I let him take it.
Bob aced the exam, but when he returned home I discovered that his junior year class was scheduled for 10AM-noon. I had no choice but to make Bob drop out of college. I felt bad, watching him slouch dejectedly towards the taxi that came to pick him up.
I moved Bob into a small house, from which I thoughtfully deleted all the windows. I bought him a coffin to sleep in, and told him to get in it. As the day passed, people kept ringing the doorbell, and he kept getting up to greet them. No, Bob! Stay out of the sunlight! See how it burns you? Get back inside!
The newspaper was Bob’s undoing. He picked it up and stood outside, reading about Science. I canceled the action, and told him to RUN INSIDE, but instead he dawdled like an idiot. I frantically kept canceling his actions, but he still insisted on folding up the newspaper and taking it out to the trash. STOP IT, BOB! GET INSIDE, YOU MORON!
“Hmm, says here on the work order, he stood on the lawn reading the newspaper while slowly burning to death. Guess you never know about those neckbiters.”
At this point, I had to pause the game to think.
I’m doing a thing where every member of the family gets their picture taken at the photo booth, to hang on the wall of the family home. I hadn’t gotten around to getting Bob’s picture up there yet. I wasn’t bothered by Bob’s death per se, but I was upset at the thought that he’d pass away without leaving behind a photo on the family photo wall.
This was my first time playing a vampire character, and I didn’t realize they were such IDIOTS. I assumed he’d realize he was ON FIRE and run back into the house, but he just STOOD THERE. If I’d known vampires were this stupid, I would have deleted his front door once he went inside, so that he couldn’t leave.
I was starting to get weepy at the thought of that family photo wall. Would I leave a blank spot where Bob’s photo should have gone? Or would I hang someone else’s photo there, as if Bob had never existed?
It was my fault that his photo wasn’t on the wall. And it was my fault that he died.
I decided to violate my #1 Sims-playing personal rule which is, “No take-backs.” In all of my years playing The Sims 1 and 2, I have never once exited without saving the game.
Until last night.
I exited without saving, then went back into his lot. Told him to get into his coffin, then watched him like a hawk until nightfall. Neighbors kept ringing the doorbell to say hello, and I kept canceling his actions and telling him to GET BACK IN THE DAMNED COFFIN.
After nightfall, I had him take a cab to the hedge maze, and get his picture taken at the photo booth. Conveniently, just as he put the photo into his inventory, his father showed up on the lot. I had them do a bit of night swimming together – one last bit of fun before Bob was phased out of the game.
As the clock rolled towards 4AM I started getting anxious about Bob’s safety. If the sun came up while he was downtown, there would never be enough time to call a taxi and get home. I had Bob get out of the pool, and call Aaron over for a little chat.
Bob gave Aaron a present – the photobooth pictures. They hugged one last time.
Then Bob walked to the street, and phoned a cab.
(I didn’t choose Bob’s outfit, by the way. If you think Bob looks silly wearing a wet suit at a public swimming pool, you should see the exercise outfit his twin brother came with…)
I followed Bob home and put him in his coffin, and left his lot, forever.
Back at the Alphabetti family home, I took his photobooth picture out of Aaron’s inventory and placed it on the family photo wall.
Goodbye, Bob!
Can you teach any of the Alphabettis to knit?
Alas not, although there is a sewing machine, so you can turn your sims into your own little sweat shop.
THERE ARE SIMPIRES?!? WHY WASN’T I TOLD!??!??
(Also, have you ever considered City Of Heroes?)
I loved this post! I’ve been trying to convince myself that I do not need this game, but things like this are not helping…
This is hilarious. But I am wondering how Bob could afford a six-burner professional range. Apparently blood-sucking pays well. Oh, yeah.
The stove came with the house – it’s a tiny kitchen, but it does have a nice stove.
Bob and Baxter actually made some great money at college for having good grades. At Sim State, they give you a bonus for every semester that your grades are good. Not bad, eh?!
After their second year they could have upgraded and enlarged the house. But they wanted to buy that awesome pool table and workout machine instead. You know college boys!
What does it say about my life that I was entranced by this post? Between this and the Yarn Harlot’s new washer, I’m all cheerful now. There’s a lesson in here somewhere, I’m sure of it . . .
Ha! I love your Sims posts.
I LOVE your Sims posts. You have me tempted to play. I played years and years ago on a very slow computer with much frustration. Turned me off greatly. Hypothetically, if I was to get back into this time suck, which version would I get?
You need to go to More Awesome Than You (http://www.moreawesomethanyou.com/smf//index.php) and pick up at least the critical fix hacks. They will make your sims somewhat less stupid and your game much less likely to explode.
Wow, that is AWESOME, Christina, thank you! I have had several minor bugs, and suspected bugs, which I keep hoping will vanish as I install more expansion packs.
The funniest one so far is that I have a sim who gains enthusiasm for cuisine in his sleep. I guess he’s dreaming about food, and it makes him like it more? He’s the only one this has happened to, and it’s only for cuisine. No idea if that’s a feature or a bug. It happens about once a sim month.
The most interesting one is an armchair that was permanently “in use” in the Broke household. I decided it was the chair of Brandi’s lost-in-pool-accident husband. I probably could have moved it with moveObjects, but I decided to leave it there as a sort of shrine.
The most annoying one came when I tried to build out the 2nd floor on one of the default Maxis houses. Even though I placed walls and a floor, and even (in desperation) columns on the floor below, the game insisted that I couldn’t place anything on the floor. I finally deleted the floor I had placed, put down some new floor, and for some reason that worked.
The most dire one is again something where I’m not sure if it’s a feature or a bug. The child of Brandi’s 3rd pregnancy disappeared on his birthday from “child” to “teen.” I saw the sparkles circle him, so I panned over to watch him grow up. To my surprise, he disappeared.
His icon vanished from the family control buttons on the lower left, but his homework remained (permanently “in use”) and he’s still shown in the family relationships panel, and on the snapshot preview of the family when I click the Broke house (before clicking to enter the lot). No pop-up messages, and no tombstone. Total mystery.
Cuisine? What kind of cuisine or just general cuisine? What is general cuisine. That’s wild.
[...] you may recall, we last saw Bob leaving the Alphabetti lot as a vampire. I had written him out of the story. Vampires (as it happens) are very stupid and fragile, and prone [...]
my sim vampires wouldn’t stop kissing when the sun came up so they just kept on doin it till they were ashes.
That is… really poignant, actually!
[...] I would like to direct you to the comment that Jacie left on my post, The polite term is “Vampire-American”: my sim vampires wouldn’t stop kissing when the sun came up so they just kept on doin it till [...]
what does poignant mean???
It’s “sad” with a bit of “bittersweet” thrown in for good measure. Wikipedia lists the synonyms as “distressing” and “moving.”
The best example of “poignant” I can come up with off the top of my head is the ending of Old Yeller.
oh.I get it now.ty
dude thats the ugliest vamp iv ever seen
I think Drew is very cute in his “cut-off overalls”. If I’d been capable of coming out of the closet as a teen. i would’ve probably tried to be very naughty with him……………..But, back then plenty of completely straight guys thought wearing Bib Ovies were cool too. I wish the 90′s were still with us. Dress the older version of him in striped Ovies, I think he’d look cool!